OMG, you came back! I’m so glad you opened this email!
AF tip of the week + a picture
If you’ve been around the AF block before, or even if you haven’t…you might have heard this phrase. But, what does it mean?
When you get those pesky thoughts like “I could really use a drink right now…” or “just one won’t hurt...”
PLAY THE TAPE FORWARD.
Think about what happens next. Here’s how this works for me:
I have a drink. I have another drink. And because I have that voice deep in the back of my mind that makes me want more more more - I keep drinking. Because, screw it. Right? I’ve already ruined my AF streak. It might be fun for a little bit, but I really don’t know what will happen.
I never knew what would happen when I drank; I always just hoped for the best. Sometimes it turned out fine. And sometimes, I ended up in the ER, or I left my purse on a large planter downtown (both true stories). Either way, I’d wake up deathly hungover and regretting it all. And I’m not willing to live that way anymore.🤷🏻♀️
So for me, it has to be none.
For your picture this week, here’s how a typical wedding used to go for me. Note the number of drinks at our table… 😬
What’s up?
I still can’t believe August is here! It’s a busy month for my family. My mom is moving out of the house I grew up in, I’m celebrating seven years of marriage on the 15th, and my son turns six on the 23rd. Oh, and my husband and I are going to Denver at the end of the month for a friend’s wedding.
AND we’re going to see Kevin Hart perform in a few weeks too! I saw him perform before, a few months before quitting drinking. And yep, as you could guess…I barely remember it. I’m SO excited to watch this time without a buzz. Making memories you’ll actually remember is a great benefit to AF life. 😊
I haven’t published anything new in the past week, so again here are some of my Medium articles:
I’m a (Retired) Binge Drinker. Here Are Some Thoughts About Why I Quit
5 Things That Helped Me Quit Drinking That Aren’t Alcoholics Anonymous
It’s Happy Hour Somewhere! Navigating Sobriety in the Workplace
Want Not Drinking To Get Easier? Grab Your Sparkling Water and Read This
Q & A
You asked…
How do you know it’s worth it?
Here’s what I think…
I know myself. I know how I drink. I’ve always been a binge-drinker with no off-switch. I was capable of having one or two, but I always wanted more. And I never knew how it would turn out.
When I wake up on a weekend hangover-free, I realize that I want to feel this way forever.
When I have a special moment with my son or notice something small that he did, I realize that I may not have noticed if I had been drinking or hungover.
I am so much more motivated and confident now. I’m not going through each day like a robot. I’m actually living my life. I have realized how short life is and that we have to do things that truly make us happy. I’m content now. That alone is worth all of it.
I know that drinking would give me some ease from stress, and it might even be fun sometimes. But I know that giving that up is worth all the good I get from being AF.
I remember how unhappy I was right before I decided to quit. Life is too good now. I don’t want to go back there. ❤️
Do you have a question you want to see answered here? Reply to this email or DM me on Instagram.
6 Questions with
Each month you’ll get an inside look at someone else’s AF life. And this week, I asked my BFF Gill to share.
👉🏻Don’t forget to sign up for the weekly emails; you don’t miss out on this perk!
1. Do you track AF time? If so, what is your AF date? If you don’t, why not?
I do track because milestones were super motivating for me in the beginning. I love to celebrate and be proud of myself, and it was nice to have a special day each month. My sober date is Nov 9, 2019.
2. What is your “why?”
A little dramatic, but... I don't want to die. That's the reason I quit and whenever thoughts of "maybe it's been long enough and I can moderate now" pop into my head I remind myself that I don't want to die lol. I was very suicidal at the end of my drinking and it was getting scary, so I know if I start drinking again I will eventually go back to that place.
3. What’s your tip for the early AF days?
Do different stuff. The worst thing you can do is keep living the same lifestyle, just without the alcohol. I used to sit around, drink, and watch TV, so when I first stopped drinking I didn't even go in my living room for a month. Watching The Bachelor without alcohol is going to make you feel like you're missing out and feel bored. I read books in my bed with some tea, took group fitness classes at the gym, and researched addiction science instead.
4. Favorite AF hobby?
Videogames :) that has always been my thing. I was bullied in middle and high school and never really had any friends, so I spent a lot of time playing videogames with my brother. When I was drinking though, I used to get drunk and play games but the problem was I would usually blackout. I remember when the first survival tomb raider game came out around 2014 I got really drunk one night playing it and when I went to play again the next night I could not remember what happened! I was constantly having to restart videogames and movies because I was blacking out. Now, I remember everything I do!
5. What's the best thing about living an AF life?
That I don't have to hate myself anymore. It took about 6 months of sobriety to get here, but I like myself now. That's something I have never experienced in all of my life.
6. How do you de-stress?
Rage walks, rage cleaning, sending a ton of voice notes to Blair on IG, venting to my husband Drew, going to the gym and lifting the heaviest thing I can find, eating an emotional support bag salad, or playing video games for 10 hours in 1 day.
Listen to Gill’s podcast: Sober Powered. And find her on Instagram @sober.powered and on her website.
You should
Listen to
Grieving the Loss of Alcohol [Addiction Unlimited podcast}
Read
Spark a Little Friendly Competition With This Guide to Hosting the Ultimate Game Night [Pop Sugar]
50 Non-Boozy Beverages For Sober Celebrations [Mashed]
Watch
Things I like (with links)
Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off
Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases
Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50
Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off
NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off two or more 4-packs
Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30