Hey!
Wow, October already?! How?
I love fall. So Iām all about this weather and vibe change. How about you? Iām excited about the newsletter this month. Itās the first time FREE subscribers are getting weekly emails! So letās get this show on the roadā¦
AF tip of the week
Replacing your alcohol with something else is a great way to get through the difficult times in your AF life - especially at the beginning.
But ā ļøPROCEED WITH CAUTION ā ļø
If youāre not feeling comfortable with drinking NA beverages, then donāt.
Itās not a requirement.
Itās just a nice way to feel included, and it can make you feel fancy too. And who doesnāt want to feel fancy once in a while? š
Head to the bottom of this email for some discount codes on my favorite brands!
Whatās up? + a picture
Iāve been super busy lately - and probably not doing the best at taking care of myself. I usually wait until I actually feel burned out to do anything about it rather than trying to take care of myself regularly - thatās something I need to work on!
We went to my sonās schoolās fall carnival this weekend! It was so fun to see him talk to all his new friends. All the kids were so excited to see each other outside of the classroomā¦and he went to bed super early that night, so thatās a bonus. š
Check out my latest articles:
Step One: Quit Drinking. Step Two: Figure Out Who You Are Without Alcohol
Breaking Down "Wine Mom" Culture: Is It Keeping Women Drinking?
6 Questions with
1. Do you track AF time? If so, what is your AF date? If you donāt, why not?.
This is kind of a yes or no for me. I donāt count days anymore, but I do acknowledge that I walked into a recovery space on January 1, 2019. I also acknowledged that my first year of recovery had three slips, but I still count that entire year as a part of my journey. So I consider myself to be three years and eight months in recovery and two years and eight months completely alcohol-free. I think itās really important that people have the freedom to count days or not count days, and thatās the beauty of this new age of recovery that weāre in. Weāre in a place now where you get to decide what works best for you. When I first started my journey, I was counting the days religiously, but when I got to a few years in my journey, I just focused on the years rather than the days.
2. What is your āwhy?ā
my why for getting sober and my why are staying sober are different. I got sober because I was just sick and tired of the downward spiral I was on. I got sober because I knew I deserved a better life, I knew I was capable of living a better life, and I knew that I wanted to have healthy family relationships. my why for staying sober is because itās absolutely awesome!! I would never want to go back to that exhaustion that comes with alcohol abuse, so now my why is because living alcohol-free is just so freaking amazing that itās not worth even considering going backward.
3. Whatās your tip for the early AF days?
Fellowship, fellowship, and more fellowship! I cannot imagine getting through the first days of my alcohol-free journey alone. I think the most important thing is getting connected with other people who know exactly what the experience is like and who can support you and encourage you along the way. If youāre not comfortable walking into a room full of strangers, then get connected with people virtually; start following pages on IG or download some of the Sobriety apps like Reframe or Loosid .
4. Favorite AF hobby?
Everything, haha, anything you used to do drinking, you can do sober. But honestly, itās probably time with family. Thatās not really a hobby, but thatās my favorite thing to do now that everyone isnāt always mad at me for being a drunk a$$hole.
5. How do you de-stress?Ā
Exercise for sure! I train with a coach and follow a consistent routine on my own as well. Exercise is definitely the best anxiety and stress medicine for me. I also love a long walk alone to destress as well.
6. What's the best thing about living an AF life?
The best thing is having freedom. When I was drinking, I didnāt truly have freedom because I was always stuck in my own mind overthinking things, are using my words to hurt people because I was actually hurting myself. Now I have freedom, I have the freedom to be relieved from anxiety, I have the freedom to apologize to people when I say the wrong thing, and I have the freedom to live my life authentically and to be who I was meant to be. I no longer have to be concerned about getting another drink or be concerned about what I said to someone while I was drunk. I no longer have to wonder where my car is parked or whose house Iām waking up at. I just get to live in pure freedom, and itās the best gift I ever gave myself.
šš¼Find Kiola on Instagram @kiolaraines and on Clubhouse @kiolaraines
You shouldā¦
Listen to
Sober Powered - Your Guide to Sober Sex with Dr. Nazanin Moali
Read
These Cozy Fall Mocktail Recipes Are Great Alcohol-Free Sips [Hello Giggles]
The Importance of Healthy Self-Control and Sobriety [Psychology Today]
41+ Best Documentaries & Docu-Series Featuring Addiction and Recovery
Watch
Iām sharing this song again because itās just. so. good.
Things I like (with links)
Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off
Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases
Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50
Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off
NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs
Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30